Season Grades: NO Hornets

F

The first team to be bought by the NBA. No one goes to the games, and no one cares about the Hornets.
Remember when David West was an All-Star and CP3 was a threat to any team in the playoffs? That seems like decades ago.

Wrong

Now it is almost certain the team will be dismantled by CP3 going to the New York, West testing the 'free agent water,' and the NBA on the verge of giving New Orleans its second natural disaster in 10 years.

This season was overshadowed by the fact CP3 wanted out in the beginning of the year, because he thought the Hornets were not "dedicated to winning." They convince him to stay with the team, West gets hurt and the team goes belly up.

Hey man, they made a great first round series against the defending champs.

Wrong. They did what any other team would have done against the Lakers. Did you see what happened when LA played a good team? Sweep (including bush league plays by Metta World Peace, and Bynum).

This could be the beginning of the end of the Hornets.

Damn, what would Grandma-ma have to say about this?

Season Grades: PHX Suns

F

I've been thinking about this for a long time. Lets go back to last year.

Nash and Richardson lead the Suns to the conference finals against the Lakers, and provide the public with the only entertaining match up of the entire playoffs.

Fast Forward to this year.

Nash declares in the beginning of the season they, "Probably won't make the playoffs."

The Suns trade their top scorer (J Richardson) for The Polish Layup, Peitrus (sp), and Half Amazing-Half Washed up.

The Suns fall flat on their faces and don't make the playoffs, behind Robin Lopez's weak inside play. I'll admit it, I miss Amundson.

The Suns spent more time making commercials this year then winning games.
Nash appears on a Gay Rights commercial in New York. He also appears in a Vitamin Water commercial. Grant Hill is creating awareness about whopping cough. Jared Dudley and G.Hill cover Kobe's homophobic ass with a gay awareness commercial.

As far as I can tell, The Suns did nothing right this season. In fact, they took steps backwards.

The big question now is, where is Steve Nash going to go?
It would be wrong for the Suns to keep him Steve there and make him rot in the Valley. I say let him go out with a title contender. He deserves it more then anyone else in the league.

Its obvious ownership of the Suns don't care about winning anymore. That was obvious when they let Marion go, or Amare go, or Joe Johnson go, or Rondo go, or signing Vinsanity.

LET NASH LEAVE!

What We've Learned

The postseason is over and here is what we've learned:

The Heat have lost.

Not once in the past 2 weeks did ANYONE give credit to the Mavericks for winning a game. It was constant criticism of the Miami Heat.

"Heat can't close out games"
"Lebron is choking in the 4th"
"The Heat gave this game away"

The fucking mainstream media covering their fat asses. What do I mean?
Well if Jon Barry's dumb ass predicts the Heat (the superior team) to win. Then every game is decided by the Heat. Jon Barry predicted the superior team to win, they just couldn't do it...see what I'm saying? Experts don't pick the wrong team, the right team just didn't win...

The Mavs got lucky!!! The Heat fell apart! Its the Heats fault!

That's horse shit! There' no such thing as being lucky in sports. Take the term "lucky punch" for example. There's no such thing as a lucky punch, because the fighter obviously meant to throw leather. It wasn't as if the opponent fell over his own two feet and got knocked unconscious.

What I'm saying is that the Heat had all 5 players on the court. The Mavericks were able to get stops and the Heat were not. The Mavs hit big shots and the Heat didn't. I don't see anything lucky about that. All I see is a team that's been together for more then 1 year, better coaching, and more hustle than the Heat.

What else have we learned?

That America would rather see a team Built of an MVP, four All-Stars,a wife-beater, a player with gun issues (including a man being shot in the leg at his house), a cocky sixth man who flies around the court with a Larry O'brien trophy tattooed on his bicep, rebuilt many times over with oodles of money by an obnoxious owner...beat the Miami Heat.

We have learned the public would rather watch a team lose, instead of win. We're obsessed with watching greatness fail. Just like we did back when Dallas lost in 06, and when Dirk lost in the first round against Golden State. Its as if we would rather root against a team, rather than in favor for the other.

Most of all...we have learned America loves to HATE.

Video of the Weak

When he's not torching the Lakers, he makes a great clothes hanger.

Sad Sap Sh*t

I'm so sick and tired of hearing people say, "Man I'd like to see Kidd, Dirk, Terry, Peja win a ring."

Do you feel sorry for me? xoxo

No you don't. Stop lying to yourself. The real response should be, "I really don't want LBJ, Wade, and Bosh to win a single championship EVER. In fact, I don't want them to win a single game next season. In fact, I don't want there to be a next season, and during their vacation I hope they all get injured."

Lets be honest, you don't like the Mav's. You didn't think Dirk deserved the MVP, you hate Mark Cuban, and you've never been to Texas (not even for a layover flight). You just can't stand the Heat.

How do I know this?

Because no one ever said, "Man, I really hope the Jazz win. I'd like to see Stockton and Malone finally get that ring.
"Man, I really hope the Sonics win, I'd like to see Payton, Kemp, Schrempf get that ring."
"Man, I really hope the Kings beat the Lakers this year."
"Man, I really hope the the Pacers finally get by the Bulls, and Reggie gets his ring."
"I hope Ewing gets his deserved ring"
"I hope Allen Iverson beats the Lakers to get his ring."

Do you feel sorry for me too? Snifffff

No one EVER said that shit, because fans were obsessed with watching Jordan win, and Shaq dominating. No one felt sorry for the opposing players. We were intrigued by seeing how long the Bulls could go. How many championships Shaq could give Rick Fox. But its not the same for the Heat.

The massive hate for the Heat is spilling over into love for any other team they play against!!

Heat vs 76ers
"Ya know what, I've always been a big fan of Elton Brand, he's a hard worker and a double-double every night"

Heat vs Bulls
"D-Rose is the true MVP, I love their defense. Plus I was always a front-running bandwagon fan when Jordan was on the team."

Heat vs Celtics
"I don't care about this series."

If you're going to hate a team, so be it. But don't make excuses of why you want them to lose. Plus, how do you think Dirk and all of them feel knowing you only like them now against the Heat. When, during the regular season we know you were saying, "I hate the Mav's. Dirk is overrated, Terry is dumb, Peja chokes, Kidd can't shoot, I hate Stevenson's neck tattoo...THEIR OLD AND SLOW."


If you're going to hate, at least do it right. Give me a God damn break.

Jobless

Ever since Shaq announced his retirement it got me thinking... who will not have a job next year.

Mike Bibby

After the Miami Heat win the championship this year there's no guarantee Bibby will be back. The Heat signed Bibby because of his shot making, and he can't HIT.JACK.SHIT. He can't defend - He's probably just ONE step faster then Derek Fisher (without the ability to flop). Can't pass. Doesn't do dirty, doesn't five on the floor, get rebounds etc. Bibby will be happy enough to get that ring and will retire. Or the Heat won't pick up his contract.


Derek Fisher

Kg is probably telling him to quit..look at those shorts!

If you ask most (non-delusional) Laker fans, they'll tell you the Lakers don't need Dwight Howard...they need a point guard. Fish-Flop is slow, can't find his jumper, can't defend, couldn't hold his "leadership" qualities together when Dallas swept them. The only redeeming quality of Fish is he's Kobe's only friend on the team. Throw him away and Kobe may go apeshit (which would be kinda cool to watch).


Corey Brewer

I don't know what to say about this guy really. He blew out the candle on a cupcake? I know Dallas is accustomed to picking up other team's garbage and building a what would have been a super team 7 years ago, but I think Brewer is where they draw the line. One would think Brewer would be getting more PT after Butler went down.. but he hasn't. And with JJ Barea playing better, there's less room on the bench. Have fun dunking in Germany Corey.


Rudy Fernandez

I ama a good I apromise!

Wishful thinking really. I can't stand this guy. Remember when this guy wanted in the Dunk Contest? Played a guitar and sang to get in? This isn't Europe God Damnit. You can't just play guitar and sing a goofy accent and get what ever you want. Then he called out the team and said he wanted more PT or money or trade. And for some reason the Blazers kept his bum ass. At one time he was a big lift off the bench, and now he cools off the team with terrible 3-point shooting and bad Euro defense. Go back to Spain!


Baron Davis

A shell of a man. The poor guy fell victim to the Clipper curse. Then got sent to the second worst city in America. the Cavs have the #1 and #4 pick. They will probably pick up Kemba Walker (who is overrated, and a chump) but then there will be no need for Baron and his ridiculous contract. At least now he'll have an excuse to be out of shape. Maybe he'll get heckled by his apartment neighbor...just as long as that apartment isn't in LA.


Vince CARTERRRR

THIS HAS TO BE IT. No more! Throw in the towel, wave the white flag, call uncle. Do whatever needs to be done. Vinsanity needs to GO! Half-man half-washed up. A black hole. A quitter. He could be the single reason why Toronto is still in the shitter. He has done absolutely nothing in Phoenix, I pray to God the Suns don't keep him. Maybe he could be the Gatorade guy who hands the players their drink over their shoulder. Be the kid who wipes up the sweat of other players that are SWEATING from actually playing hard! God damnit!