ChampionSHIT

Here's a short math lesson.

There have been 61 championships

The Lakers and Celtics have combined for 52 appearances. That's an 85% chance you're going to see either the Lakers or the Celtics in the finals.

Lakers and Celtics have combined 32 of the 61 trophies. That's more than half.

The next closest are the Bulls with a lovely 6 (thanks to some Jerk named Jordan)

Then it goes down to 4 by Popovich and the Spurs.

76ers, Pistons, and Warriors have 3

Knicks and Rockets have 2

The rest of the league has one EXCEPT FOR:

Nets, Magic, Suns, Jazz, Cavs, Raptors, Grizz, Nuggets, Hornets, Clippers, Bobcats, Timberwolves, and the Pacers all have a BIG FAT FUCKING ZERO.

That's almost half the league without a championship. 8 of those have never even graced the finals. That's almost a third of the league.

Point is: The league is ran by big market teams, LA, Boston and Chicago are at the top. Then there are a bunch of freaks, and then there those that are constantly shit on. And there are A LOT of people getting shit on.

I suppose I should introduce some way for teams to spread the wealth, and think of ways for smaller market teams to compete. But lets face it, with free agency it's never going to happen.

The league is severely fucked. Historically and continually.

This whole thing reminds of 90s wrestling. When there are about 4 wrestlers that matter. Than a bunch of jobbers that get fucking murdered every night.

Worst part? We still watch as history repeats itself without anyone doing a damn thing about it.

Weekly Poll - McGEE GOALTEND

Maybe I should finally write about this..

You guys voted a while ago and thought that the Wizards would win 15 games.

And ya know what? Half way point of the season, at 7-25, you guys are right. They would end up around 15 games. My audience is so smart I love it.

But don't let this record at the midpoint of the season fool you. There's a great chance the Wizards could only win 3 more games for the rest of the season.

BUT I LOVE THIS



I love this for so many reasons.

1. Its against the Kings (who also suck)
2. McGee knew what he was doing and didn't care
3. Crowd interaction. I love foul balls in baseball, I love this
4. McGee is a time bomb

Fans (if there are any) should be happy McGee is on their team. Its perfect reason to spend 20 bucks to a game you don't know WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN.

Fans pay in HOPE to see Kobe hit a game winner, in HOPE to see Bron smash on someone...now DC fans pay and HOPE McGee goes nuts.

I think McGee is becoming my favorite player..

REAL LIFE SUCKS

Chipotle Lines

Since the podcast is a on a bit of a hiatus (like most of the shitty bands PTB likes), I thought I would just write one instead.

This has to be happen to everyone at least once who goes to Chipotle. Now I know I have a lot of vegans, and Hindus that read this site, and they're not down to eat some organic chicken. But for those of us that like to get ripped off now and then, we go to Chipotle.

First of all, the line is always absurdly long, and the reason why? Because they're always some chump in the front of the line that hasn't heard of the internet. Depending on the time of day, this person is in different forms.

Around noon: A woman in cheap business attire holds an ungodly list of all her colleagues orders. Its already shitty that she's ordering 5 burritos and 10 tacos, but each order is a shit storm of complicated nonsense. And please Lord Chipotle employee, don't fuck up, it'll only hold the line back further.

Evening: Some shit face College student sent by his dorm friends to pick up their dinner. This is what I don't understand: This kid probably spends 80% of his time on the internet plagiarizing, looking at internet porn, and stalking on Facebook. How does he not know he can order online?

I believe there's even an iPhone app for all this shit. C'mon people, get with it. Stop wasting everyone's valuable time.

If you're gana hold up the line, you should buy everyone waiting guacamole... cause that ISH is dumb expensive...or maybe we should go get some real Mexican food. Mexican food in general is a rip off. Rice, beans, cheese, chicken, 7 bucks? That's a whole separate topic though.

Video of the Weak

Firs they move you to the bench, then they forget your name..

ESPN RACIST

Oh it felt so good write that. Usually I'm complaining about how biased ESPN is towards the east coast and the SEC.
Normally the only time I'm mentioning about ESPN being racist is when Stephen A Smith is spraying spit at Skip Bayless (and the nation)

"Chink in the Armor"

This is what I don't understand:
ESPN is not some amateur blog. There isn't some loner out there posting rude and absurd shit.
This headline must have went by at least 3 people before it went live.

Who was in charger approving, "Yeah, Chink the armor is good. Its clever. Good Job.... . . .. OH SHIT!"

Hey man your blog is racist, shallow, and trite

Yes all that is true. But that's why you come to NBHate. You come for the shallow, racist, perverted, useless information. That's why I'm here! We go to ESPN for actual (biased) information.

ESPN, stick to what you do best. Manipulating stats and sucking the SEC's dick. Leave the racist remarks to schmucks like myself.

Valentines/LINsanity ii

In a league that is dominated by stories of rape, babysitter urination, and spouse cheating. I'm going to get away from all that, and write about my NBA man crush.

as much as I enjoy freak shows and talking about absurdities, there is nothing wrong with my man Pau Gasol. He's a dreamboat. And I'm not even a Lakers fan, far from it actually.

He took the Lakers from first round losers to champions. He leads his Spaniards into FIBA. He has off the court lady issues. He's soft as a kitten. During the off season when his teammates are changing names, he's volunteering at hospitals. He takes potential trades in stride. And to top it all off, he's more well spoken than any other Lakers, AND HIS NATIVE LANGUAGE IS NOT ENGLSH! God he makes us Americans look bad.

Oh Mr Gasol, will you, your handsome stubble, and your soft hands please become my Valentine's and save me, just like you save the Kobe?

-----------------

Lin Part 2

Oh this story has everything I love about sports, an underdog, racism, and speculation.Let us begin with the speculation.
No one can feel worse about LINsanity than Carmelo Anthony. Everyone is projecting that the superstar of the Knicks is going to make them worse. So much hate I love it.

"We have so much of a good thing going on right now... what if our best playa is gana ruin it!?" (NYC accent)

Adding a good player to a decent time is going to make them worse? It COULD happen.. Allen Iverson? Gilbert Arenas?..

Anyway, the main reason why I'm writing this is because of Lin's game winner against Toronto (who blow every game they play)

The crowd goes absolutely BANANAS. Which is expected if the game was played in New York, BUT IT WASN'T! IT WAS PLAYED IN TORONTO!

If you watch the footage again, you can see the crowd go berserk over this guy. It has to make everyone wearing those god awful Raptor jerseys feel like absolute shit. Congratulations Toronto.

The first thing it reminded me of was watching an adolescent sports movie. Like Rookie of the Year, something of that nature. The crowd isn't coming to watch the sport being played, they're waiting for the underdog to excel! All those Canadians who don't give a shit about the Raptors got exactly what they asked for during that game.

And I have to admit, I am rooting for the same reason. I didn't believe the hype (that's my job). I was watching the Knicks play the Lakers while running a few miles on the treadmill (a guy has to stay fit man..or atleast try!) And I found myself cheering for him everytime he scored. At one point while running I actually put my arms in the air and yelled "JEREMY LIN."

I am selling out...

PS Pau I love you

LINsantiy

So I've been receiving hundreds of letters f hate mail about how I don't like Jeremy Lin, Let me explain why I don't like this player. Jeremy Lin reminds me of two different people..

Numero uno: Allow me to tell you story. Back when I was in college (yes I went to college) I took a "History of Punk Rock and Media" class (yes there is such thing). The class was awesome! We had this gnarly dude who was a punk/reggae dj on the weekend, saw all kinds of old punk footage of the Clash, Velvet Underground, Television, etc..

We're all having a killertime one afternoon talking about how much we enjoy vinyl records. The sound is crisp and vintage with the crackling of the needle hiting the record. Then.. "Jeremy Lin" speaks up.

"My favorite form of audio is mp3 240hz.."

"Oh that's great and all... but its fun to find a great vinyl!"

"I just download it... its real easy, and with the internet I can get it real fast."

"But when you buy vinyl you get the inside art, and its real cool to get to know the band."

"You can download the album cover.."

"..That's not the same..and vinyl has the best quality"

"No it doesn't"

"Actually it does, mp3s are from cds.. vinyl > cd"


"Actually, the human ear isn't very sophisticated, it can only identify quality to a certain level. Our ear can not tell the difference between vinyl and an mp3, I learned this in my computer science class...

Get the fuck out! Its a history of punk rock class! What the hell was this guy doing taking this class anyway??
Computer science, give me a break..

Numero dos: Remember in school, picking on the nerdy kid? No, you don't? Well some do. And what did the teacher say?

"Be nice to him, because one day he's going to be you BOSS."

"Ya the fuck righttttt"

... Jeremy Lin is now laughing at everyone that knocked up their girlfriend, working a dead end job, from the shoulders of the New Yorkers praising him..

OH AND THERE'S THIS

Kobe Passes Shaq (not the Ball) and Pierce Passes Bird

No one cares. I sure as fuck don't.

I hate this bullshit because people begin talking about "all time" greatness. I have to hear bullshit like, "Is Kobe the best Laker ever?"
"Is Pierce better than Bird."

If someone asked me that question (Bird and Pierce), I would punch them in the mouth. Even worse, if someone were to try and tell me that Kobe was better than Magic I would vomit in their mouth.

Maybe its just era we live in now, where no one likes to pass the ball to their teammates. But Bird and Magic made their entire team better

Hey man Kobe makes his team better

...yea tell that to Brian Cook and the rest of scrubs that played in game seven against the Suns...

The only thing stats like this are good for are for the media to make stories and shit storms between fans.

Quick Notes
Only nerds like Jeremy Lin
There are a gang of injuries in the league
Its only been one month of basketball (can you believe it???)
Kevin Love be stompin' fools out

We're Talking Knicks

I have no idea why we constantly talk or hear about the NY Knicks. They're the worst best team in the League. That label once belonged to the Hawks, but I can now say that the Knicks are the worst team being talked about. How do I know this?

1. They're waiting for Baron Davis to save them
2. Their record

The Knicks are a half-game better than the Cavaliers and...... THE NETS! Can you believe that?! With all the talk about New York you would think they'd make the playoffs. Which by the way, the NBA allows half its team in the post season.. you have Carmelo (overrated) and Amare and you can't make it?

I almost feel bad for all those bagel making, milk separating jews and their basketball. Not really though. I can't get over how they're always in the headlines. If it isn't Isiah Thomas groping someone, its their shitty play on national TV. Are people just waiting for this team to explode, and go on a 20 game winning streak? Unlikely.

May this be a lesson to all those superstars that want to join teams with one another. Not really. More like, here's a lesson to black holes who want to team up with other black holes: you won't ever get he ball.

But lets be honest, the real reason why the Knicks blow right now.. Mike Bibby

BG HATE

I'm gana write down two sentences, one of them is true, one of them is false:

- Alex Corthell pulls chicks

- Some people don't like Blake Griffin

Yes its true, some people don't like Blake Griffin. I don't know how its possible. It ranks up there with some of the most absurd things we've ever heard.

"Casey Anthony is WHATTTT>!>!"

"Arnold's nanny is WHATTT??@"

"YOU DON'T LIKE BLAKE GRIFFIN???"

It makes no sense. I hear all kinds of dumb arguments, that I don't have the time to go into. Basically people think he's overrated. I don't know how you can say that after last nights smash on Perkins and the Clips man-handle the best team (record) in the league.

"He's all show, he doesn't put up Klove numbers."
"He doesn't take late game shots."
"His D is bad"
"Busted Jumper"

For all those that don't like BG, you should take a moment and ask yourself if you like basketball...then you should cut off your balls with a plastic knife.