Its easy to find predictions of the good teams all over the league; rookie of the year, MVP, championship... all that bullshit. But what about the worst in the league?
Worst in the West: Everyone. When did this happen? It seemed like yesterday that whoever came out of the west was gauranteed to win the championship. Now it's the opposite. Every team except for the Lakers (and two days ago Thunder), are mindlessly going through the motions of 'competing' and 'we'll be good once everything clicks.' - ask Nash how it felt being on one of those teams. The Dallas Mavs are a perfect West team. Won the champ two years ago, and now they're downright pathetic.
Least in the East: Orlando. How will this franchise bounce back after hurricane Howard? Howard literally dismantled the franchise while some how trying to stay there?.. It was one of the ugliest break ups I've seen. But hey! They still got.. J J Redick..Now Orlando is sucking shit like 90% of the league. They should really just consider being cut, or contracted (LeBRON do you know what that means?).
Fall from Grace: Jeremy Lin. The dude gave sweat shops around the world a reason to cheer, and when the NYK were given the oppurtunity to resign him, they chose the odds. There's no way this Harvard graduate, soy suace drinking PG can create the same magic season after season. But what about all the merch $$$ he would bring in?! What they should do is start selling Jeremy Lin couches for people to sleep on... I happen to know a Delusional Laker Fan that would buy one of those in a heartbeat.
Cheers to Jeers: Normally this award goes to the Utah Jazz without hesitation. But this year I'm predickting the Indiana Pacers and the Brooklyn Nets will give the Jazz a run for their money. The Pacers are also a majority white crowd, and we all know what happens when you get a bunch of angry white people together - crosses are burned and D Fish lies. But Brooklyn has a brand new team and arena that JayZ helped build, and what do the fans do? Take a piss all over it.. literally. I'm expecting atleast two fight by Nets players this season, and about a dozen fights in the crowd. *Special nod to the Sacramento Kings for renaming their shitty arena, "Sleep Train." No better way to sleep than to watch high school level basketball on a pro court.
Oh I forgot about him!: Jimmer. The Mormon bomber that was killin in college, hittin' tres from half court, game winners, screaming at the camera...now? Third stringing it behind Aaron Brooks, and Isaiah Thomas.
YOU GET PAID TOOO MUCH!: Nicolas Batum. I guess dickpunching and corner threes will get you 12 mil a year. Get the fuck out of here Nicolas. At least spell your god damn name right. *He spells it the same as Nicolas Cage
Worst Moment of the year: Without a doubt it will be the slam dunk contest. An annual festivity I once looked forward to as a child, as turned into a freak show of no name, no importance, no originality, and downright rigging (Kia). Id much rather have the entire All Star weekend replaced by a report on the NBA conspiracies, hosted by Bryant Gumbel.
Have a great season everyone.
