Playoffs III

Ya  I wasn't able to put up a Playoffs II, but in case you're wondering I picked the OKC LAL, and MIA IND series correctly.

Playoffs III

OKC SAS 
The best series thus far in the playoffs. Finally two talented well playing teams playing against each other. No more games of 'old team' trying desperately to slow down 'athletic team' to a boring pace. As much as I hate OKC for stealing the Seattle Supersonics, I hate the Spurs even more for what they did to the Suns year after year, after year. It pains me to say this: The spurs are a well-oiled machine, a run away locomotive, a fat chick at a buffet, nothing can stop them. They remind me of the Mav's from last year. Everyone knows what they're doing, and when to do it. And they have a great coach (and interviewee).
Spurs in 5 games of holy crap I hate the Spurs.

MIA BOS
MIA in 5

*Editors note - Fuck the Celtics. Fuck the Spurs, Fuck Mr. Bennet. And fuck the playoffs. Besides Clippers Grizzlies, how many good series' have we had? Thanks for the fucked of season/playoffs commissioner Stein. 

DLF Part II

Lakers get by Denver (barely) and now face OKC... Here we go

DLF: So do you have LAL in 5 or 6?

Me: OKC in 5

DLF: Pfft get outta here. Pau and Bynum alone takes it to 6. Kobe is good to push it to 7.
DLF: Plus have you seen MWP? Dude is on a mission.
DLF LA is a good match up with OKC. They have Perkins not manimal.

Me: You also have Kobe who sucks.
Me: And no bench.
Me: Zero bench.
Me: Negative bench.

DLF: Ya something like that, We had no bench last series too
DLF: We had no bench all year.

Me: Weren't LAL supposed to beat Denver easily?

DLF: Ya but Bynum got lazy and overconfident. He has no reason to do that this series since he's the underdog.
DLF: Plus didn't the Celtics get pushed to seven games in their first two rounds in 2008 when they should have crushed those teams, but then cruised by the last two rounds and won the championship.
DLF: Sometimes its about match ups and not how good the team actually is.

Me: Are you really bringing up the 2008 Celtics?
Me: How are the Lakers a good match up with a team that crushed them twice during the regular season?

DLF: What killed us against Denver were their bigs have a lot of energy and that killed our lazy pussy bigs. But all OKC has is Ibaka.
DLF: The rest of OKC's bigs are slow like our bigs.

ME: The whole Lake Show is slow.

DLF: Pfft, not Sessions homie.
DLF: Plus Denver was way deeper than OKC. OKC plays Mohammed and Fisher.
DLF: FISHER!!! Dude got cut from our team.

Me: You don't need a great bench to be LAL, you just need A BENCH.

DLF: You can cheat off Fisher and double Harden. You couldn't cheat off anyone on Denver.

ME: I can't believe you brought up the 2008 Celtics.

DLF: I mean do you think that if a team struggles a weak team they'll automatically get crushed by a better team?
DLF: Because never has a team struggled with a weak team and then put up a fight against a better team.

Me: I'd say its likely.

DLF: If we had MWP we woulda beat Denver sooner.
DLF: You need to admit MWP is a big upgrade from Barnes.

Me: That's not saying much.
Me: I still don't see how OKC is a good match up for the Lakers.

DLF: Their bigs are slower than Denver and their bench isn't as deep.
DLF: Yeah their overall talent is better but I'd say our starting 5 can hang with theirs as long as Bynum and Gasol stay engaged.
DLF: Their bench won't kill ours as much as Denver did. *

Me: Are you watching the game?

DLF: Naw. Was gana watch the 4th.

Me: Ohhhh now this is making sense.

DLF: Is it bad?
DLF: Just saw it on ESPN. OKC up 31.
DLF: Its cool, just one game...

* Editors note: Lakers bench 26, OKC 50.

Pooper Hero

One of my favorite times of the year is finally here.

No I'm not talking about the second round of the NBA playoffs... its NBA/Movie promo time!!!

Yes a league so broke and desperate for money that commissioner Stine decides to split NBA playoff commercials with summer blockbusters such as the Fantastic Four and Van Helsing.

This years lucky movie: The Avengers


Unlike the other movies mentioned earlier, I actually want to see this one. I hope the lack of good post season play doesn't poison my interest in Stark and friends...but let me get to the point.

NBA players as super heroes? Are you serious? Could there be a worse athlete to protect humanity??

What's Reuben Patterson's super hero power? To piss on a babysitter from a block away?
Can Derek Rose and his illegal SAT score out-smart a thief?
Do you really want  Darius Miles to save your wife if she's being mugged? She'd feel safer with the muggers.

There's no game 7 in saving humanity. Which means one would need to work hard everyday..all day..

I would rather the fate of the world be in the hands of Joseph Stalin than Lamar Odom... at least we know what we're getting ourselves into..

Video of the Weak

 This video is significant for a few reasons. For one, the Mavericks miserable fucking season is now over. This was probably the worst year a championship team could have. How did this happen? Lets look at the facts.

1. Your superstar spent the entire (extended) off-season getting drunk, eating cured meats, and partying. Absolutely no training. That tells me that either Dirk has given up, or that he believes everyone else in the league is doing the same thing...  which brings me to my next point..

2. Lamar Odom. What initially appeared to be a steal for the Mavs turned out to the be their breaking point. Who would have guessed the 6th man of the year was really the Laziest, Dumpiest, I got my feelings hurt and now I'm back to sucking super bad, man of the year. F U L O. FULO thats the motto.

Everyone in Dallas should be thanking OKC for putting the Mavs out of their misery.

Playoffs vs Reality

It happens to every hardcore fan. Your pride starts to cloud your mind and you can't see straight. You begin to start making predictions with your heart and not your brain. So much that you tend to lash out at strangers.

WELCOME THE DELUSIONAL LAKER FAN

A team on a steady decline and fans won't except it.

Here is my text conversation with my DLF
-----

ME: OKC, LAL, how's it going down?

DLF: Bloodbath
DLF: lakers win 1 in okc
DLF: OKC come back and wins one in LA
DLF: Lakers win game 6 in okc
DLF: Game 5*
DLF: Close in LA
DLF: That's all she wrote

ME: So it goes 7?

DLF: Nope six
DLF: Lakers win game 6 la. God just tapped me on the shoulder and told me so.
DLF: Lakes.in.6.

ME: oh yes

DLF: Thank me later
DLF: it has already been written my friend. I'm just a middle man passing along this information from above.

ME: What does d fish say to kobe once they win the series?

DLF: he cries than retires.

ME: No once OKC wins

DLF: You must not understand what I'm saying here nick.
DLF: Ur boy (DLF) has seen the future.
DLF: back to he future
DLF: Mcfly jones
DLF LAKERS IN 6!!!!

Playoffs - Round One

Its the most entertaining part of a very underwheming season (league).

East

Hawks Celtics
ZZzzzZzzz. This is possibly the best worst series of the playoffs. Can the Hawks constant under achieving by outdone by the aging/beatup/stupid Rondo Celtics? You gotta love a league that gives you terrible vs terrible scenarios.
Hawks in 'who gives a shit'

Orlando Pacers
Another series that has been dominated by bad news. Orlando (and one of the NBA's) best is out for the entire series setting up an easy win for all those honkies in Indiana.
Indiana in 6 but should've been 4

Bulls 76ers
Hey guess what? More fucking bad news. Rose is out, again, with a torn ACL. The Bulls should be used to this ya? Except they can't beat up on the Nets, Shitcats, or the Wizards. What I'm most happy about is that I've been telling everyone that the Bulls aren't winning the Championship, and now everyone agrees.
76ers in 'we don't deserve it, but we'll take it'

Heat Knicks
Heat in 4

West

OKC DAL
Everyone's been giving me beef because I'm not interested in this series.
Hey man the games have been close! You should watch.
Close but Dallas is down 0-2. Close because Durant has been struggling. Watching two shitty teams does not make up for one good game. It makes for one extra shitty game. Btw, could any team look less motivated than Dallas. Just send them on vacation already.
OKC in 5 But Dallas wishes it was 3

PHX... OH wait, they fucking blew it. Bye Bye Steve Nash

Utah Spurs
ZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ in ZZZZZZZZZzzZzzzzzzzzzz

Memphis LAC
Thee best series in the playoffs right now. Memphis' record is misleading due to injuries. These guys should have been a 3, or easy 4 seed. Clippers are out to prove that they don't need Butler, or Billups or a coach to make it far in the playoffs.
Clippers in 7 (Thanks for cp3 heroics)

LAL Denver

Lets all watch Javele McGee play himself out of the NBA, Kobe jacking up shot after shot, Bynum afraid to jump, and Mike Brown looking for LeBRON on the bench. The classic match up of up-tempo, fast break basketball against, slow-it-down-lets-take-advantage-of-our-size ball.
Lakers in 5 because we got tired.

Can't wait for Round 2 to disappoint