Video of the Weak

I'm a little late on this. Only by 7 years or so. Which is longer than Sasha's NBA career (thank God).
But hey ya'll, peep this.

Lamar Odom is Missing

Apparently Lamar Odom has gone missing. Multiple sources have informed me that Odom has been struggling with terrible production in the NBA the last few seasons, which could have led to his disappearance. Since I'm sure the Kardashians are freaking out, I would like to lend my hand to share a list of potential places Lamar could, and could not be.

Could be:

Hometown Buffet

Asleep in his car

Boston Market

Lost (like on the court)

Movie hopping in a theater

Mexico por el Vero Mango

A drive-thru

Candy Factory

Catching up on Breaking Bad

Getting a tattoo

Could not be:

Rebounding

La Fitness

Whole Foods

Lost in a good book

Dallas

Ralph Lauren

Conditioning

Being a good father

Happy

Iverson Retires...from life

Allen Iverson has finally decided that after 4 years of not playing in the NBA (Not being good for about 6-7), he's hanging them up. We've all seen his painful appearances post NBA in which he expresses interest in playing again, and thank God there isn't a team desperate enough to pick him up; which is very surprising.

I know that the NBA is a guard driven league, but there's not one shitty team who would have taken a chance on AI? The Answer?! He crossed up Jordan! - zzzZzzzzz
I'm surprised a team with terrible guard play never picked him up, Lakers, Rockets, Magic, Indiana. No one, which proves how bad Allen Iverson really is. And that teams have decided they don't want a pure scoring point guard. Teams see the most success when guards distribute the ball (Kidd, Nash, Fii..shhe..rr?) anyway you know what I'm talking about.

But really he's just a bum who has spent all of his god damn money and would be a cancer in any locker room. The guy doesn't even like to practice. I wonder if he knows how to say practice in Mandarin?
Allen Iverson hasn't just given up on his dreams to play in the league again, he's given up all hope. What's he going to do next?!

He can't do broadcasting, no one wants to hear him talk about himself, or just be depressed on air. Although it would be interesting to see if he had a pair of shorts on underneath his suit, in case he felt he was needed on the court. Heroically tear off his suit and jump in the game! Which brings me to my next point.. he can't broadcast because he won't wear a suit! I don't think he's ever worn (or learned how to tie) a tie. AI was the catalyst for Stern to demand a dress code for players walking to the court, and sitting if injured. One can not broadcast in football jersey and chains AI...

Look for Allen Iverson at your local shoe dealer signing basketballs and shoes inspired by players much better than him.