Yeah so I took some time off. Eat SHIT. Its not like the NBA is giving us anything to shout about..until tonight...
Now everyone is up in arms giving DJ hi-fives and dick slaps because he dunked on someone an entire foot shorter than him. Am I impressed? Yes. By DJ, no.
DJ smashes on everyone, and yeah he's been on my smash radar for a few years now, so I've come to expect Lob City to crush the Bombed-out-Depleted-Poor-as-FUCK Motor City.
And in a league that's full of overpaid, entitled, I'm-too-busy-making-commercials, pieces of shits. Most players would have gotten out of the way, ran away, not jumped, not given a shit. I'm happy Brandon Knight (A Rookie!) took a risk and tried to make an amazing play.
Because lets face, if he makes the block, its the BLOCK OF THE YEAR. ENDS DETROIT'S UNEMPLOYMENT, KIDS START BLEACHING THEIR HAIR AGAIN, ENDS THOSE FUCKING CHRYSLER COMMERCIALS!
Knight bravely jumped and attempted to block a dunk by someone much taller than him, he fell on his back, and the internet obliterated his image. But get up young Knight, your ego might be bruised, but your courage stands tall* above the mounds of garbage the league gives us.
*cheeseball alert.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Friday, February 15, 2013
Seattle Suicide
The poll is over (has been for a week now) and you have chosen the Seattle Suicide as the next name for the a franchise in the Seattle Area.
As a bunch of cynical bastards, I had the feeling you would pick this, but it makes sense. Gloomy skies, a lot of bridges, high divorce rate, Demarcus Cousins, it just makes sense.
The Seattle Suicide sounds awful, but anything is better than going back to the SuperSonics. Let me explain.
I was a big fan of the Sonics in the mid 90's. I was young and impressionable so naturally seeing Shawn Kemp - pre-cocaine, dunking on someone then pointing to them on the ground was just the baddest thing on the planet. Gary Payton was the scary black guy that I wanted to be friends with. Detlef Schrempf was the pure shooter/weird foreign guy. And Sam Perkins was the lazy big man who just wanted to shoot the three (setting the way for players such as Mehmet Okur, Pau Gasol, and Channing Frye). So much to love!
So naturally when the team got swindled out of Seattle and moved to Oklahoma over night, I was furious. I was pissed at Stern and the rest of the league officials. (I hold grudges what can I say?)
Two Christmas' ago, a friend of mine gave me a retro Sonics hat. I loved it, it exemplified my old love for the team, and my angst towards the NBA. IT WAS A STATEMENT.
If the God-awful Kings move up to Seattle and become the Sonics my hat will become useless. Instead of it being a throwback to one of the most entertaining duos in history, it will be a reminder of how wretched the combination of Tyreke Evans and Jimmer Fredette is. TYREKE EVANS AND JIMMER FREDETTE.
Its selfish of me to save the integrity of my hat, but now that I think about it... they won't be called the Seattle Suicide because of the condition of Seattle PRIOR to the Kings move, but because of what will become of Seattle once the Kings move there.
As a bunch of cynical bastards, I had the feeling you would pick this, but it makes sense. Gloomy skies, a lot of bridges, high divorce rate, Demarcus Cousins, it just makes sense.
The Seattle Suicide sounds awful, but anything is better than going back to the SuperSonics. Let me explain.
I was a big fan of the Sonics in the mid 90's. I was young and impressionable so naturally seeing Shawn Kemp - pre-cocaine, dunking on someone then pointing to them on the ground was just the baddest thing on the planet. Gary Payton was the scary black guy that I wanted to be friends with. Detlef Schrempf was the pure shooter/weird foreign guy. And Sam Perkins was the lazy big man who just wanted to shoot the three (setting the way for players such as Mehmet Okur, Pau Gasol, and Channing Frye). So much to love!
So naturally when the team got swindled out of Seattle and moved to Oklahoma over night, I was furious. I was pissed at Stern and the rest of the league officials. (I hold grudges what can I say?)
Two Christmas' ago, a friend of mine gave me a retro Sonics hat. I loved it, it exemplified my old love for the team, and my angst towards the NBA. IT WAS A STATEMENT.
If the God-awful Kings move up to Seattle and become the Sonics my hat will become useless. Instead of it being a throwback to one of the most entertaining duos in history, it will be a reminder of how wretched the combination of Tyreke Evans and Jimmer Fredette is. TYREKE EVANS AND JIMMER FREDETTE.
Its selfish of me to save the integrity of my hat, but now that I think about it... they won't be called the Seattle Suicide because of the condition of Seattle PRIOR to the Kings move, but because of what will become of Seattle once the Kings move there.
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